I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
