My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
