We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
