In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
