is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
