You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
