I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
