READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
