trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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