Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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