Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
