Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
