With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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