Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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