What a fucking waste of an outfit
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
