wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
