between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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