so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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