I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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