The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize
