I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
