i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
His hands were made for my vagina.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm too high and old for this...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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