We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
