Having a random hookup so left but love u
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I think my vagina is haunted
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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