So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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