I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Just invented taco cereal.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize