Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
