Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize