why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Randomize
