I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
