Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
