i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
a search helicopter?!
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
