no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize