oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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