Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize