can u get pink eye on your cock?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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