the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
