An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
