this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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