went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Randomize
