no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
In America we eat man semen.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
