I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
