Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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