I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
