Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
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