i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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