I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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