I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We don't watch enough power rangers
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
