How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
God, I missed his penis.
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