Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
