Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
