So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
