How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize