ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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