I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
This baby is an asshole
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize