People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
