i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
