He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize