mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
