I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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