I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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