I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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