He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
