i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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